I was fourteen years old then, before that my early childhood was not a happy one and I was more
scared and insecure than feelings of joy and happiness, I want to focus more on the time when I left
school and started working for British railways ,I soon found out that most of my work mates were
all heavy drinkers, and not wanting to be different I joined in merrily, little did I know at that time
that I had begun the journey down that slippery slope that leads to oblivion and termination of life.
I had no way of knowing that fourteen years into the future I would be a chronic alcoholic been
given just three months to live by my doctor ,and have spent a year in a psychiatric hospital been
threatened to be put on a "section" of the mental health act,which means that you can be forcibly detained against your will.
I found that the first five to six years of my drinking apart from being broke all the time as my wages were being spent on drink I felt mainly ok, then the descent into hell and torment began in earnest.
It started on my twenty first birthday ,that's when I had my first encounter with unknown fears, feelings that I was going to die, my heart was going to stop, or burst out of my chest or my brain would explode! these nightmare feelings were to become my constant companions for the next nine
years, at this time too and continuing for the next nine years were a torrent of thoughts that would not stop, only by getting blind drunk would they slow down a little. I had an emptiness inside an insatiable need to be filled by something with me it was alcohol but that failed miserably to fill the
hole within my very being .Carl Gustav Jung the eminent world renowned Swiss psychiatrist and
psychoanalyst said in his opinion that "Alcoholism was a low level thirst for God" and he also said
that" Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people"
I believe in my heart and soul that all addictions are basically a need to feel and be WHOLE a complete being and not fragmented.
I joined a fellowship that deals with alcoholism ,and is a place where you can share and identify with others and thereby see that you are not alone and that you can recover and rebuild the mess that your life was before ,and in so doing pass it on to others ,just as I am doing here.
Meditation is part of this fellowships program and for me meditation has brought me boundless joy
and peace over the last forty or so years I have been sober and well.
ADIOS can mean for you reading this blog, goodbye to sickness and despair, and hello to joy and peace of mind!
with all my very best to you regards Michael.
email kirkpatrickmichael17
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