Secretive-Inner-Longings-Enable-Numinous-Consciousness-Expression.=S.I.L.E.N.C.E.

What are our inner longings? Can we actually put a name to them? Many who i have spoken to
over the years, have all mostly said the same thing, "that something was missing from their life"
and they did not really know what it was. I identified with this feeling that something was missing
from my life, and could not quite put my finger on it, at least not until i was about thirty years old.
The common denominator in many of the stories I heard, mine included, was about an empty
feeling inside, just like a "hole" a chasm within, that seemed to be aching to be filled, a ravenous
hunger, a deep longing or hunger for "something" unknown, the way i tried to fill this hole within
me, was to gulp down alcohol like it was going out of fashion, which resulted in me becoming
totally addicted to the stuff, and almost died, or drowned in it. Others I spoke to said they too had
tried to fill this bottomless pit or void within them, some took to alcohol like me, others turned
to drugs, some to food, some to gambling, and many other ways, that often led to mental and
emotional problems.
 What was missing in all those lives that i chatted to, mine included, was silence, I was a complete
and total stranger to this thing called silence.
For as long as i could remember my head was constantly crammed full of thoughts, millions of
thoughts, these thoughts towards the end of my drinking, were firing into my brain at "warp speed"
it was as though my thoughts were being fired through a machine gun, rat a tat tat, they were so
fast that i was driven to distraction by them, and this went on 24 hours a day, even in sleep, there
was no let up, nightmare, after nightmare, reared its head, and constantly thinking how to escape
these hideous monsters created in my addled brain.
Salvation came to me in the form of meditation,a friend of mine told me about it and said it could
change my life, if i practised it, how right he was,  meditation seemed to be about stilling the mind
stopping the thoughts, which to me seemed a total impossibility, i was told to enter the silence
within, with this i laughed and said you must be joking! There has never been a silent moment
within me since i was born!  How can i enter something that does not exist within me? I had
many questions about this,was told to sit still, close my eyes, keep my back straight, observe my
breathing, my reply to this was why? How is observing my breath, going to help slow down my
thinking? I was told to shut up with all these questions, and just try it for a while and see what
happens. I did this and to my astonishment, things started to improve within me.
Will explore this more in part two.warm regards Michael.
kirkpatrickmichael17@gmail.com any comments welcome, facebook soul realization.